Don't Lose The Dog...
And don't lose myself.
I’ve been struggling to hit send on this post for a while now...
I think they’re a few reasons, maybe it’s because I confess I cuss a little 🤣, or maybe because I’m embarrassed to admit I lose the dog 🥵…. But mostly, I think because I’m doing it again. I’m judging myself. I’m forgetting about grace. I’m getting overwhelmed with all the things, and I’m forgetting all the good. It’s a slippery slope, guys. This whole life doesn’t seem to be like I thought it would so I’m just going to throw a temper tantrum. And even though we all know our pain and heartache is for His glory, you still get mad at yourself for stuff. And you wonder why you are still doing this. And you think God’s done with you because you behave poorly.
And he’s not done with you. He’s just not.
I am still so very much in need of God’s grace and mercy every single day. No matter how far along I get in this journey, I still need Him. I still need to rest in His strong arms and know He’s not holding any of this against me. The last few weeks I’ve been overcome with worry. About my kids. About my future. Just regular life worry …we all have it. All the “should be’s” that continue to flood my mind sometimes make it hard to get out of my own way.
This whole post is still true…don’t lose yourself. Guard your emotions. But I think what is more true is: don’t lose yourself to the should be’s. I think if you can manage to stop your brain from going to what should be, you can manage to keep your emotions from spiraling a bit better. Accept what is. What God has given you right now. Accept that he won’t give you more than you can bear… and that if you are walking a road that is hard, remember He is also on that road too, and He hasn’t left you. No matter how many times your lose the dog or lose yourself. He’s still there. Always. ❤️
“Who’s in charge — the thinker or the thought?
Are we managing our own lives according to our own values and what is important to us, or are we simply being carried along by the tide?”
- Dr Susan David
My dog has been playing tricks on me.
Usually around 10:30, right before I go to bed, I let the dog out to go potty. We have a fenced in back yard, with two gates that lead out to both sides of the house. Both fences are broken. One is being held together by a large rock, the other one works, but the latch doesn’t capture well, so if you don’t close it tight enough from the inside of the gate, the dog can shimmy his paw into the crevice and swing it wide open… allowing him to escape.
And Oliver loves to escape.
Oliver likes to take leisurely strolls through the neighborhood. He’s a bit of an escape artist and as soon as he finds a moment, he’ll dash out the door or the gate and sniff his way up the cul de sac. Our sweet neighbors will either shoo him home or walk him home, depositing him back into the yard where he is supposed to be. If he is shooed home, he will arrive at the front door and give one single bark…and then wait for us to open the door and let him in. He seems to legit think he’s human. And he’s spoiled rotten…he really is loved by everyone, thankfully all the neighbors are happy to see him. But lately, he’s been testing me…and making me really examine my emotions about being a single mom.