Single Mom Things I Thought I Would Never Do....

File this one under that.

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First things first…a little housekeeping.

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We are going to start sharing stories about how God can take a broken life and make it beautiful. Our hope is to inspire women who are going through hard times to not quit. I know personally, when I was in the thick of it about a year ago, I would cling so tightly to stories from seasoned women who had been through hard trials, yet they seemed so calm, peaceful and dare I say…joyful. Only now do I realize that what I was seeing was the glory being revealed in their life…their surrender to the suffering brought that peace, calmness and joy.

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A few frequently asked questions:

Do your kids see their dad? They do not. The answer to why is in this newsletter.

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File this under things I’d never thought I’d do….

Funny things happen when you become a single mom. You have to start doing all those things you never thought you’d ever do. Really silly, unimportant things. For me it was grilling. I never grilled hamburgers or steaks, so the first couple times I did and they actually tasted good, I felt like a rock star. Or clean out the garage, or fix a light fixture, or call the roofers when we have a leak… suddenly, if you want those things done, there is nobody to fall back on. It’s all you.

I guess the saddest thing about becoming a single mom is realizing you’re it. And for sure one of the most empowering things about becoming a single mom is realizing you’re it …
….and that you can do it.

Recently I was given another one of those opportunities. We were out of town for a lacrosse tournament not far from Joshua Tree National Park. We had a handful of hours free and the idea of missing out on a National Park we’ve never visited seemed wrong. So, the kids and I piled up in the rented mini van and took off to see the Joshua Trees.

After about an hour and a half of driving and about 30 mins of wrong turns, we found the trail head to a short, one hour hike. As we started up the trail, I started to get nervous. Geez, Amy. Who did I think I was?!? Definitely not a hiker. People were passing us with their hiking poles and all the gear. We had street clothes on… furthermore, had I ever hiked a national park trail? NO! Good grief…..

Jacob forged ahead like the athlete he is and I started worrying about if he’d get out of sight. STOP WORRYING Amy!! I kept telling myself, and as I began to allow the beauty around me to soften my heart, I found myself relaxing and enjoying the hike.

Joshua Trees are funny little things. Wikipedia has an interesting origin story listed for them:

“The name "Joshua tree" is commonly said to have been given by a group of Mormon settlers crossing the Mojave Desert in the mid-19th century: The tree's role in guiding them through the desert combined with its unique shape reminded them of a biblical story in which Joshua keeps his hands reached out for an extended period of time to enable the Israelites in their conquest of Canaan (Joshua 8:18–26).^[13][14][15] Further, the shaggy leaves may have provided the appearance of a beard.^[16] However, no direct or contemporary attestation of this origin exists, and the name Joshua tree is not recorded until after Mormon contact;^[13][17] moreover, the physical appearance of the Joshua tree more closely resembles a similar story told of Moses.^[18]”

And I found that origin story so fitting to my life. The whole reference to Joshua keeping his hands reached out to support the Israelites. Did I know what that feels like!! The supportive hands of those who love me and believe in me have kept me going through this whole single mom thing. How’s that for irony?

We reached the top of the hike and I breathed a sigh of relief. I did it. But I didn’t just do this whole hike thing. Oh no. Here’s what I really did: I woke up every day when I didn’t feel like it. I said no to my kids when I really wanted to say who cares. I did the laundry every single day even when I was so bone tired I didn’t think I could one more thing. I did the cooking, the cleaning, the driving, the working, the finances, the everything. I did it all.

And I didn’t think I could.

As we walked down the other side of the peak I smiled as I watched the kids skipping and jumping together.

We did it.

Don’t get me wrong. We are not done. And I am still dealing, and will continue to deal with tough stuff and it’s freaking hard. I have no magic ball and I have no idea how all this is going to play out. We for sure have some steep, steep mountains to climb. Just today I was confronted with something really, really hard and the outcome seems unknown to me. But I do know this…

I can do it. And I will do it.

So thanks, little Joshua Trees. Thank you. You were another small reminder that this single mom can do scary things. And it’s going to be ok. Are things perfect? Nope. But will I be able to do this?

Yes.

And that makes this journey 100% worth it.

“Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.”
-1 Peter 4:12-13

As always, thank you for your love and support, I’m so glad you are here. If you feel these posts would help someone else going through something similar, please feel free to share them with your friends…

Let’s talk! If you would like to discuss anything I’m talking about, or you simply have a thought, feel free to pop it into the comments! I’ll be monitoring them and will respond when I can. Hugs friends, and as always, I’m praying for everyone who reads this. xo